TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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