She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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