so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
