Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
