I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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