alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
The cops high fived after they tackled you