do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...