Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.