I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
