his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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