at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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