my mouth tastes like poor choices
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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