last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Bring me that man meat
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
