Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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