I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
