The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
