In the future we'll all be gay
I've blown a few things in my day
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
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