hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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