turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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