She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
