Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
