i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
