Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He passed out mid-signature
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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