just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
