The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm sobbing to NWA
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