thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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