We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
