therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
