my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
