Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
it's great music for shaving your balls
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize