At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
