Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
