I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Dick very happy bro
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