What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
