a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
