like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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