Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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