He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
i think my cat just said my name.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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