my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
