The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
