I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize