It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
