I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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