Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
