Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your dad took our porno
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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