GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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