evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize