It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
