He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
