Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
