girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize