soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You dont lie about slip and slides
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize