why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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