Please, let me fuck your mom
I just cut my nipple shaving
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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