i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You pole danced in your parka.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
