Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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