We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
