His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
17 year olds will be the death of me.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
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