i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
