My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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